Family: Why can it be so hard to reach them?
If our Lord found it difficult to reach His earthly family with the truth, why would you think it would be easy for you to reach yours? His family consisted of His mother, Mary, His brothers James, Joses [or Joseph], Judas and His unnamed sisters. Of course, He didn’t have an earthly father. His mother was still a virgin when she conceived Him of the Holy Spirit.
Matthew 1:18
18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. [Emphasis added]
Everyone needs to know and believe what we call the gospel message. No exceptions! But reaching family members with it can be a challenge. Here’s a summary statement of the situation given to us by our Lord.
Matthew 10:34-36
34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Many people will see the fulfillment of this next verse in their own household.
36 And a man’s foes [ECHTHROS = enemies] shall be they of his own household. [Emphasis added]
Yes, one’s greatest enemies can be unbelieving family members. Such will be the case for many believers who have a deep and abiding love for our Lord. There are some wonderful exceptions to this, but such is often not the case. This is one of several reasons why the Word of God is sometimes spoken of as a sword.
Hebrews 4:12
12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. [Emphasis added]
Yes, a sword cuts, pierces, and divides. One of the things the Word of God sometimes divides is families. But what every believer needs to learn is that the family that is most important to him and has more enduring value over all other family relationships is the one he has with his spiritual family, not his earthly one. It was this way even with our Lord and His relationship with His own earthly family.
Matthew 12:47-49
47 Then one said unto him [to Jesus Christ], Behold, thy mother and thy brethren stand without, desiring to speak with thee.
48 But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?
49 And he stretched forth his hand toward HIS DISCIPLES, and said, Behold my mother and my brethren! [Emphasis added]
This little situation tells us a lot about Christ’s relationship with His natural family members. It comes as a big surprise to people who’ve been trained to believe that His mother, Mary, was a great believer. Search the Scriptures! You’ll find that the Bible does not tell us that. Again, search the Scriptures on this! Do your own research! Church tradition does present Mary as a “spiritual giant” of sorts, but that is not found in our Bible. Furthermore, she was only a virgin until she became a mother to our Lord. Not until after Christ’s resurrection do we see His family members finally coming to realize who He really was. While it is certain that Jesus wanted all His family members to ultimately see Him as the promised Messiah of Israel, it took them a while to come around to that thinking. The time of the incident of Matthew 12 I just mentioned was well into His earthly ministry.
Have you ever wept over your family’s unbelief? Jesus wept over all Jerusalem about this.
Matthew 23:37
37 O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, thou that killest the prophets, and stonest them which are sent unto thee, how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not! [Emphasis added]
Unbelief in their case even led to the destruction of Jerusalem and the whole nation, even as it can any nation.
Matthew 24:1-2
1 And Jesus went out, and departed from the temple: and his disciples came to him for to shew him the buildings of the temple.
2 And Jesus said unto them, See ye not all these things? verily I say unto you, There shall not be left here one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down. [Emphasis added]
He even warned them that that generation would not pass until this occurred.
Matthew 24:34-35
34 Verily I say unto you, This generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.
35 Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my words shall not pass away. [Emphasis added]
I even have a video on this subject on this website about verse thirty-four—
#51 ~ The Parable of the Fig Tree & the Second Coming of Christ
History tells us that it was in 70 AD that all this was fulfilled. The Roman legions stormed the Jerusalem walls and after a long siege they completely destroyed the city. It all happened exactly as Jesus predicted it would.
Matthew 24:2 again
2 And Jesus said unto them, See ye not all these things? verily I say unto you, There shall not be left here one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down. [Emphasis added]
You’ll find several very interesting accounts of the siege on YouTube.
Conclusion—
Reaching one’s family with the truth of the gospel is usually no harder than it is to reach anyone else. Prayer and perseverance can make a difference. Just always know that most people are not saved and they’re going to stay that way. That’s not a statement to discourage you but to put you in touch with reality. If most members of your family are saved, you’re in an exceptional situation. Even in America, most people are not on a course leading to Heaven. That’s simply because most people reject the simple gospel message. They may get “religion,” but that’s not the same as getting saved.
I put these following verses on many of my articles. I know they’re bound to be people who wonder why I do this so often. It is just because I’m aware that many people who think they’re saved are not. I only know that because I’ve heard so many people talk about what they’re depending on as a basis for their salvation. In simple conversations they’ll expose what they’re really relying on for it. If it is not faith in Christ alone, they’re not saved, no matter how “religious” they may appear to be to some. People almost always attach some religious “baggage” to faith in Christ as the sole means to their salvation. That “baggage of works” is not acceptable to God for salvation. No matter what those works look like to people, they are repugnant to Him. I quote these next verses often to point this out to people.
Ephesians 2:8-9
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast. [Emphasis added]
This is at the heart of our gospel message today. No “works” are to be included at all. Do the family members you’re trying to reach understand or accept this? I’ve found that most won’t!
Romans 4:4-5
4 Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt.
5 But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness. [Emphasis added]
How much clearer could our apostle Paul make that! Only faith in the one “work” of Christ is necessary for salvation.
2 Corinthians 5:21
21 For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. [Emphasis added]
As you may know, the passage on this that I quote most often is this one—
1 Corinthians 15:1-4
1 Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand;
2 By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.
3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;
4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures: [Emphasis added]
Even though this letter to the Corinthians was originally addressed to some people in the city of Corinth who were already saved, Paul states the means to salvation because even saved people can get confused about it. The influences to cause people, even believers, to start thinking our works have something to do with gaining salvation is all around us. We live in a very confused world, even among frequent church goers. Only faithfulness in your studies of the Scriptures will protect you from this.
