Forgiveness: Aren’t we supposed to provide it for others?
Who has wronged you and perhaps even made it difficult for you to forgive them? What did they do that has made this so stressful? At one time or another I think everyone has had to deal with some of this. But how does the Bible tell us we’re to handle it? I know some won’t even want to read this because they already know something about what it says.
Matthew 6:14-15
14 For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:
15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. [Emphasis added]
But what do we need to know about this passage? Answer: It is the apostle John addressing the people of Israel. Another question that needs to be asked is this: Does this differ from what the apostle Paul tells us about this as members of the Body of Christ? Let’s look at what he says about it.
Ephesians 4:31-32
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath [THUMOS = volatile anger], and anger [ORGE = anger], and clamour [KRAUGE = outcry – signifies the tumult of controversy], and evil speaking [BLASPHEMIA = railing, speaking evil against—blasphemy], be put away from you, with all malice [KAKIA = malice or viciousness]:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted [EUSPLANCHNOS = tenderhearted or compassionate], forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. [Emphasis added]
What a statement Paul makes here! Isn’t this different from what we saw in the Matthew 6:14-15 passage? Wouldn’t the application of what the apostle Paul tells us change things rather dramatically in a broken relationship, creating some harmony? Can this be difficult and challenging to apply? Of course it can! But where there’s a will in this, there’s a way. And this is exactly what needs to be done when the situation demands it. Someone, of course, must initiate it. That someone needs to be the one that cares about what God would have them do. If the other side refuses to reciprocate, that may be all that can be done. But forgiveness needs to be offered.
Here in Paul’s words, we are told that Christ has provided us with a standard for forgiving people. When did He do this? But let’s note first what Christ said on this subject at the time He was on the cross.
Luke 23:34a
34 Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do…. [Emphasis added]
Just get a good look at what He was dealing with. Here Jesus was the only sinless person in the world, but He was being treated like a terrible criminal. Yet He spoke forgiveness! We also need to be aware of what is taught about the sin of blasphemy because there’s Scripture that speaks of it as an unforgivable sin. However, I’ve addressed this in another article—Blasphemy: Is this a sin for which you cannot be forgiven? Therefore, I won’t address that here. If you haven’t read that article, I hope you will soon. I think you’ll find it helpful.
Again, the apostle Paul has given us today a standard to follow on how we’re to provide forgiveness. Let’s look at it again.
Ephesians 4:31-32
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath [THUMOS = volatile anger], and anger [ORGE = anger], and clamour [KRAUGE = outcry – signifies the tumult of controversy], and evil speaking [BLASPHEMIA = railing, speaking evil against—blasphemy], be put away from you, with all malice [KAKIA = malice or viciousness]:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted [EUSPLANCHNOS = tenderhearted or compassionate], forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. [Emphasis added]
Obviously, if someone doesn’t understand how “God for Christ’s sake” has forgiven us, there will be some misunderstanding about this. So, how has God forgiven us? There are questions about this that demand an answer.
1—Did God provide forgiveness for mankind by what Christ did on the cross? Answer: He did! Through His redemptive work on the cross, forgiveness was provided for all.
Colossians 1:14
14 In whom [speaking of Christ] we have redemption through his blood, even the forgiveness of sins: [Emphasis added]
2—Did any of us do anything that made us worthy of that forgiveness?
Answer: Not one thing! It was an expression of God’s grace.
Ephesians 1:7
7 In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace; [Emphasis added]
3—What is the standard for forgiveness we are then to use in our relationship with others?
Answer: The same one God expressed toward us. We are to forgive others as He has forgiven us.
Colossians 3:12-14
12 Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering;
13 Forbearing [ANECHO = to bear with, endure] one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
14 And above all these things put on charity [AGAPE = love], which is the bond of perfectness [TELEIOTES = accomplishing the end, in this case, complete forgiveness]. [Emphasis added]
Much like you made the decision to wear or “put on” what you’re now wearing, we’re to choose to “put on” or do these things. We can talk all day about what we “can’t” do, but such is not the case concerning this! We can forgive anyone of anything if we are willing to do it. This really isn’t about can or can’t; it is about whether you are willing to do it.
Question: Was God willing to provide you with a way of complete forgiveness?
Please notice the words of Christ spoken on the eve of His crucifixion. As difficult as it was, He chose to make a way for your complete forgiveness.
Matthew 26:39-42
39 And he went a little farther, and fell on his face, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.
40 And he cometh unto the disciples, and findeth them asleep, and saith unto Peter, What, could ye not watch with me one hour?
41 Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.
42 He went away again the second time, and prayed, saying, O my Father, if this cup may not pass away from me, except I drink it, thy will be done. [Emphasis added]
Clearly, we are to choose God’s will in the matter over our own. We must not harbor unforgiveness. That’s not what’s best for us or the person who needs to be forgiven. It is love, not hate or anything of its kind, that is to be provided. Let’s note what our Lord said about this in a conversation He had with the apostle Peter about this.
Matthew 18:21-35
21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.
24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents [A very large amount of money].
25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.
26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.
28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence [a very small amount of money]: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.
29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.
30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.
31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.
32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave [APHIEMI = forgave or cancelled] thee all that debt, because thou desiredst [PARAKALEO = desired it of] me:
33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion [ELEEO = mercy] on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity [ELEEO = mercy] on thee?
34 And his lord was wroth [ORGIZO = angry], and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.
35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses [PARAPTOMA = missteps]. [Emphasis added]
As I’ve noted before in an article on this website, divine discipline of this sort is not a part of God’s program for us today. All decisions have consequences, but in our time, God does not personally discipline people for their wrongdoing, their missteps. Please see my article about this— Discipline: Does God punish Christians for their sins?
Conclusion—
We need to learn to forgive people the same way God has forgiven us. But this becomes especially difficult to carry out if we’re not familiar with how God has forgiven us. So, let’s note some principles on this.
1-All your sins, past, present, and future, have been completely forgiven of God. None of us have done or ever will do anything to deserve this. It is all provided by God’s grace.
Again, Ephesians 1:7
7 In whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of his grace; [Emphasis added]
2-Our forgiveness was provided at the time of the cross when Christ paid the complete penalty, satisfying the justice of God, for all our sins. We didn’t ask for it, beg for it, or do anything else to gain it. If God did this mercifully and graciously for us, who are we to make demands of others to gain our forgiveness when they sin against us?
2 Corinthians 5:18-19
18 And all things are of God, who hath reconciled us to himself by Jesus Christ, and hath given to us the ministry of reconciliation;
This tells us providing personal forgiveness in our association with others is an important part of our ministry.
19 To wit, that God was in Christ, reconciling the world unto himself, not imputing their trespasses unto them; and hath committed unto us the word of reconciliation. [Emphasis added]
It is this that is the example we are to live by. Holding no sins against us, God offers complete reconciliation to all. With or without a response from man, this is what has been provided and extended to all mankind. We know that if there’s a positive response, salvation is then provided. But our subject here is not salvation; it is forgiveness.
Common sense separation to avoid further hurt is indeed in order when others have wronged us. But holding an attitude of unforgiveness and a grudge is not.
One last comment is in order here. Do not confuse personal forgiveness and criminal forgiveness. The state should be in place to judge and punish people for criminal activity which would typically involve sinful activity. But that’s not our role or our responsibility on a personal level. Romans 13:1-7 sets forth the role of the state in all that. Instead, our role is in the application of the Ephesians 4:31-32 passage we’ve already noted twice in this article which is about the personal forgiveness we are to extend to all.
