Jealousy: Have you allowed it to dominate your life?
Jealousy is a strong mental attitude sin that has destroyed the lives of many, both those who commit the sin and the ones who are the objects of it.
Proverbs 27:4
4 Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy? [Emphasis added]
Many years ago, I taught a series of Bible studies on the life of Joseph [Genesis 37-50], one of the sons of Jacob, the patriarch. What a story that is! It is filled with practical applications of truth for everyday life. Joseph was the youngest of his brothers [Benjamin was born after Joseph] and became the object of their jealousy because he got the kind of attention from their father that they all longed to have. And even though they did nearly everything they could to destroy Joseph, God kept him alive and, despite all their evil efforts against him, God used them to make him the greatest of them all. The comment he made to his evil brothers many years later sums up the situation very well.
Genesis 50:20-21
20 But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.
21 Now therefore fear ye not: I will nourish you, and your little ones. And he comforted them, and spake kindly unto them. [Emphasis added]
Also, we later have Luke’s comments about it.
Acts 7:9-10
9 And the patriarchs, moved with envy, sold Joseph into Egypt: but God was with him,
10 And delivered him out of all his afflictions, and gave him favour and wisdom in the sight of Pharaoh king of Egypt; and he made him governor over Egypt and all his house. [Emphasis added]
Joseph treated his evil brothers as all God’s people are commanded to deal with selfish and envious people.
Matthew 5:44
44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; [Emphasis added]
Our apostle Paul tells us similar things, especially as we deal with fellow believers.
Romans 12:9-10
9 Let love be without dissimulation [HUPOCRISIS = hypocrisy]. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; [Emphasis added]
The rule of thumb is to treat others the way we’d like to be treated. Furthermore, we’re to forgive others as we’ve been forgiven—graciously and completely.
Ephesians 4:31-32
31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you. [Emphasis added]
Aren’t we all glad God has not given us what we really deserve?
What a wonderful story it is about Joseph that well illustrates a general principle we find in the writings of the apostle Paul.
Romans 8:28
28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. [Emphasis added]
Paul even states this same principle another time in his writings but in different words—
Ephesians 1:11
11 In whom also [speaking of Jesus Christ] we have obtained an inheritance, being predestinated according to the purpose of him who worketh all things after the counsel of his own will: [Emphasis added]
Many years ago, I started using a term I made up that I called “J-waves.” It represented the feelings I’d get when I felt someone was envious of me. It was real; it wasn’t just my imagination because inevitably their feelings would be played out by certain things they said and did. Envy always surfaces with words and actions and can always be so hurtful and destructive.
Jealousy is the breeding ground for all kinds of other sins. It was even the motivation for the first case of murder in history—Cain killing his brother Abel.
Genesis 4:8
8 And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him. [Emphasis added]
As it is sometimes said, it wasn’t the instrument he used; it was Cain who committed the crime. Jealousy has been the underlying motive for many crimes.
Jealousy is something that demands exclusive devotion to self and is intolerant of all rivalry. It is quite all right for God to be that way because He is God and also because of His genuine love for us, truly wanting only the best for us.
Deuteronomy 6:14-15
14 Ye shall not go after other gods, of the gods of the people which are round about you;
15 (For the Lord thy God is a jealous God among you) lest the anger of the Lord thy God be kindled against thee, and destroy thee from off the face of the earth. [Emphasis added]
When this term is used as an attribute of God [Deuteronomy 32:16,21; 1 Kings 14:22], it is, therefore, not used as a sin, but as a totally righteous attitude that demands the exclusive devotion He rightfully deserves. But, generally speaking, jealousy is a sin and, again, it is terribly destructive.
But another place where under certain circumstances it can be quite fitting is in marriage. A mate is well within their rights to expect complete faithfulness. The Mosaic Law had stern rules for unfaithfulness [Numbers 5:14,30-31].
Where there is jealousy as a sin, there’s lust for something that does not rightfully belong to that person.
Exodus 20:15 &17
15 Thou shalt not steal.
17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s. [Emphasis added]
Again, where there’s the sin of jealousy, there’s lust for something that doesn’t belong to us and rightfully belongs to someone else. It may be a person, possessions, status symbols and/or many other things. There are many examples and warnings about this in the Bible, as for instance Acts 4:36-5:11 and Acts 7:9.
The sin of jealousy makes a clear statement about one’s lack of contentment. It is a violation of the command to be content with the things we have. Our Lord told a parable that serves as a warning to us all about this.
Luke 12:16-21
16 And he spake a parable unto them, saying, The ground of a certain rich man brought forth plentifully:
17 And he thought within himself, saying, What shall I do, because I have no room where to bestow my fruits?
18 And he said, This will I do: I will pull down my barns, and build greater; and there will I bestow all my fruits and my goods.
19 And I will say to my soul, Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.
20 But God said unto him, Thou fool, this night thy soul shall be required of thee: then whose shall those things be, which thou hast provided?
21 So is he that layeth up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God. [Emphasis added]
It is only the mature believer who has fully learned of the importance of being content with what one has.
Philippians 4:11
11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. [Emphasis added]
As difficult as some people make it out to be, it actually takes so little to fulfill this principle.
1 Timothy 6:8
8 And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. [Emphasis added]
The most important need we have for this is our Lord.
Hebrews 13:5
5 Let your conversation [TROPOS = manner] be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. [Emphasis added]
As long as we have our relationship with our Lord, we have all we’ll ever need to be perfectly content so as to avoid the sin of envy. Let us not kid ourselves and think otherwise! It is this that is the truth of the matter.
Jealousy is also a manifestation of low self-esteem. The sin of jealousy makes us feel inadequate and inferior to others. It can cause inordinate competitiveness. Such petty thinking was manifested by our Lord’s twelve apostles.
Luke 9:46-48
46 Then there arose a reasoning [DIALOGISMOS = inward questioning] among them, which of them should be greatest.
47 And Jesus, perceiving the thought of their heart, took a child, and set him by him,
48 And said unto them, Whosoever shall receive this child in my name receiveth me: and whosoever shall receive me receiveth him that sent me: for he that is least among you all, the same shall be great. [Emphasis added]
This was His plea for them to develop genuine humility in their thinking. Jealousy is antagonistic toward such thinking. But the disciples ignored His request for we see more of this surfacing later—
Luke 22:24-26
24 And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest.
25 And he said unto them, The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and they that exercise authority upon them are called benefactors.
26 But ye shall not be so: but he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger; and he that is chief, as he that doth serve. [Emphasis added]
Therefore, because of what we see in even these men then, we should never be surprised when we see it in fellow believers now. We just don’t need to react to it; we instead need to respond with love and understanding. If envy persists, it can lead to numerous complications in one’s thinking. In our society today, these things are often thought to be cases of sickness rather than cases of sinfulness. Until the situation is addressed for what it really is, there will not be a good solution to stop its further development. Words such as mistrust, paranoia, suspicion, fear, and defensiveness are words used as a cover for what it really is—sinfulness.
Over fifty years ago I learned that the word sin is rarely used in clinical psychology. These people are unwilling to acknowledge that the heart of the problem is mainly spiritual, not just mental or environmental. One case in the Bible immediately comes to my mind about this—King Saul. In many circles he is said to be one with simply a mental “disease” or disorder. No! The heart of his problem was his sinfulness, his envy of and worries over David, the son of Jesse. It wasn’t a “disease” at all. Oh, sure, those things no doubt do create headaches, digestion problems and many others. But they are all psychosomatic, meaning that the physical problems resulted from his mental attitude sins related to his thinking concerning David. Here’s an example of that—
1 Samuel 18:6-12
6 And it came to pass as they came, when David was returned from the slaughter of the Philistine, that the women came out of all cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet king Saul, with tabrets, with joy, and with instruments of musick.
7 And the women answered one another as they played, and said, Saul hath slain his thousands, and David his ten thousands.
8 And Saul was very wroth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom?
Is this not a case of what became intense envy and jealousy?
9 And Saul EYED David from that day and forward.
10 And it came to pass on the morrow, that the evil spirit from God came upon Saul, and he prophesied in the midst of the house: and David played with his hand, as at other times: and there was a javelin in Saul’s hand.
Saul’s sins lead him to be homicidal. He becomes a threat to anyone around him, especially someone like David who was getting so much attention and praise from others.
11 And Saul cast the javelin; for he said, I will smite David even to the wall with it. And David avoided out of his presence twice.
Is this not a case of attempted murder followed by even more fear and worry?
12 And Saul was AFRAID of David, because the Lord was with him, and was departed from Saul. [Emphasis added]
When the sins of envy and jealousy go unchecked, they can certainly result in grossly irrational behavior.
1 Samuel 19:9-10
9 And the evil spirit from the Lord was upon Saul, as he sat in his house with his javelin in his hand: and David played with his hand.
10 And Saul sought to smite David even to the wall with the javelin: but he slipped away out of Saul’s presence, and he smote the javelin into the wall: and David fled, and escaped that night. [Emphasis added]
At the heart of the problem of all of this is rejection of the authority of the Word of God over one’s life. So many problems simply vanish when people choose to respond and be obedient to the Word of God. It takes things right to the heart of the problem.
Hebrews 4:11-12
11 Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.
This “rest” people need to “enter into” is the peace of mind, the relaxed mental attitude that God provides for all those who humbly take their concerns to Him with prayer and an obedient attitude.
12 For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. [Emphasis added]
The teachings of Scripture will help you see who you really are and what things need to change in your thinking. Then through the work of the Holy Spirit you’ll find the power to address those things effectively. The fruit of the Spirit in your life quite naturally excludes and even jettisons such things as envy and jealousy.
Galatians 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,
23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. [Emphasis added]
All these things come forth naturally and spontaneously as you take the initiative to be obedient to the command to grow spiritually through your intake of God’s Word.
2 Peter 3:18
18 But grow in grace, and in the KNOWLEDGE of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen. [Emphasis added]
This will take diligence on anyone’s part.
2 Timothy 2:15
15 Study [SPOUDAZO = be diligent] to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. [Emphasis added]
I hope you’ll make this journey to accomplish these things to rid yourself of the petty envy and jealousy that can and will destroy your life if you don’t learn to work at this consistently. The temptations to be envious and jealous will always be there, but being equipped with a clear knowledge of the Word of God will empower you to resist that temptation like nothing else. King David’s words to God should become ours—
Psalm 119:10-12
10 With my whole heart have I sought thee: O let me not wander from thy commandments.
11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.
12 Blessed art thou, O Lord: teach me thy statutes. [Emphasis added]
